One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
