And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
