if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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