HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
