Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
