You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
