y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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