"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
