just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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