I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
