So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize