So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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