i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
