I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
