I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Houston, we have a squirter
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
