Well apparently he's into motor boating.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize