well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I can't put those talents on a resume
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
