He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
