Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize