So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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