"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
