our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm like, not good at living.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
