We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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