"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
