So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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