another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
