Do you still have your period?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
