I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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