North Korea, Best Korea!
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
