I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
