I seem to have left my pride at pride
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
