the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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