You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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