Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
how drunk are you?
Several
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
