I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
