I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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