Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
