I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
