Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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