You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
