Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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