Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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