I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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