I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
