i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
