I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize