is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
