im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
