I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
