yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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