Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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