I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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