her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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