This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
