I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
