she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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