Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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