A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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