my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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