i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
