If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Randomize
