My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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