these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
